Friday, November 26, 2010


My family decided to watch a movie and me, being the responsible student that I am, decided to go study instead. One hulu episode and 30 minutes of facebooking later I decided it was time to hit the books. However, fate was to intervene. I glanced up at my bulletin-turned-quote board that I made at the beginning of high school.

To give you a better vision: the background is black paper, and about 3/4 of it is full with decoratively cut-out quotes that were printed in all different colors. I took a random approach to picking quotes - some funny, some inspirational, some romantic, some just random (when I got tired of looking but needed more to fill up my board) The last 1/4 of the board is a little chaotic - school projects, old corsages from dances, track ribbons, pictures of friends, notes from loved ones, pictures, etc.

I was hit with a wave of reminiscing over the good times I've had in the past. The incredible people I've had a chance to meet. The talented teams I was on that allowed me to cut our net down year after year, the chance to compete at State in track and basketball. The great prom dates, and the stupid ones too <3 My friends from childhood, and those that I picked up later in life :) All of them who accepted me for my crazy goofy self. Even though I didn't intend to write a thanksgiving blog, I guess I kind of am. Even though I haven't always taken the easiest path, I am so so glad that I took the one I did. I may not of been grateful to have been stuck in Burbank for 16 years of my life, but as it turns out, I had pretty dang good childhood. I may have picked the wrong school to go to originally, but hey, I'm at the right one now. I may have picked the wrong people to trust and give my heart too, but I now I know who really has my back. When it comes down to it, as one of my quotes says "It's about the journey, not the destination"

Anywhooo, I'm going to cut myself off before I bore you, BUT, for those of you who wish to continue, I'm going to list some of my favorite quotes from my quote board. I'll just admit it right now, I love cheesy quotes, so for all you haters out there.....suck it! haha jk......

"If you don't like something change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain."

"Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice; it is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved"

"Success is how high you bounce after you hit bottom"

"As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to EVER let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken, probably more than once, and its harder every time. You'll break hearts to, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend, and you'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast and you'll eventually lose someone you love, so take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back <3

"When you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on"

"What lies before us and what lies beyond us is tiny compare to what lies within us"

"The lesson is in the struggle, not in the victory."

"Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal"

"When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, the we do not see the ones which open for us"

"If your ship doesn't come in, swim to it"

"Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets. So love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who don't and believe that everything happens for a reason. IF you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said that it'd be easy, they just promised it would be worth it."

<3 <3 That's all for now folks

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Future Frenzy

So I have been neglectful to writing in my blog, my goal was to do at least 1 post each week (oops!) However, I have been too busy enjoying the people in my life to write. Please forgive me!

For those of us hitting the job market, November means one thing; second round interviews! (okay, maybe its just me and my habit of interviewing everywhere....) I kicked off this November with Liberty Mutual. I really liked all the people I met there and they offered me a very generous salary, but my gut tells me its not the place for me. Maybe its just that after my corporate, working in downtown Seattle, experience from the summer I was scared away, but I think that is because I won't be happy in a similar situation to this summer. Who knows though, I definitely haven't made up my mind; I have to wait for feedback from all my interviews before making any final decisions.

I just finished my interview at Boeing today and now I can say I survived my first "team project" interview. I don't like them. Especially when two of my teammates take way too long talking, completely blowing the presentation, and also, taking all of my presentation time, leaving me to just sit and watch........awesome. So not sure what I'm going to hear back from Boeing....

Interview at Foster Farms the next two days. I can honestly say that I am really exhausted and super stoked to get more than 5 hours of sleep. Thanksgiving break is going to rock! Oh wait, my family is crazy and gets up at 7:00 am. So much for more sleep.

Anyways, on top of that I've been trying really really hard to transform my attitude about the future. By nature, I am a worrier; to a certain extent its who I am. However, I am a logical enough person that I have learned that fearing for the worst does not prevent the worst from happening, it just affects your current happiness. So I've been trying not to worry about things that are out of my control, like entering the real world and having to start over again, going to China and all that comes along with that, and much more. As the saying goes "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference."

I'm mostly working on the whole accepting the things I cannot change part :)

Till next time loves! (send me happy thoughts for my interview day tomorrow! 4 nights in a row of less than 6 hours of sleep.....I'll need it)

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Home is where the heart is

You know that the Pullman bug has bitten when you go home for the weekend and miss it. Its a Saturday night but as my family believes 10 pm is late, I am chilling here with not a lot to do besides listen to my friend T-swizzle and write enlightening words for the world to enjoy.

I helped my brother move today; he's all grown up! What a study, now all he needs is a nice lady friend to whip him into shape. We played tennis and made plans for Christmas break including playing racquetball eeeerrrrryy day! :) I also wheeled and dealed with him to give me a ride to and from Pullman so I have a car over thanksgiving break; what a relief.

As usual I was exasperated but delighted and thankful for my mom and all her shenanigans. Every moment with her is a surprise and an adventure. I'm glad she puts up with all of us making fun of her :)

This isn't a very exciting blog. Life is surprisingly very good right now. At the moment I am content with the indefinence (not a real word?) of my future, and I'm doing my best to enjoy life as it is now. Coming home always reminds me just how incredibly blessed I am to have the family I do. Last year, right after getting out of a relationship the night before, my dad came and gave me a big hug and said "its alright missy, we'll always be here for you; you can't break up with us."

Over the past few years I've learned how incredibly true his statement was. I love my friends, but let's be honest, they come and go. Most of the relationships in our lives seem to be transitory, and that's okay. My family are the only people (other than my hubby someday hopefully) that I can count on to be there no matter what, for the rest of my life. Even if I'm hurting from my own stupid choices, they'll still be around to pick me up. Even if I hurt someone else, they'll still forgive me.

I'm glad the family I got stuck with is loopy, quirky, and a little dysfunctional :) Life would be boring without them, and I wouldn't want anyone else to have my back (after all, we do have the best back sides around) <3

Friday, November 5, 2010

late night chats

So a mixture of half a gallon of rasberry ice tea, aching head, and soar throat is preventing me from some much needed rest. I hit up the sleepy time tea, but while I'm waiting for it to kick in, I think I'll write :)

Early this week while daydreaming in Finance, and idea, or analogy if you will, popped into my head. This may of been more solid when it first came to me, or when I wasn't sleep deprived and sicky :( So forgive me if it doesn't live up to the vision in my mind. Also, please refrain your dirty minds from "balls" jokes ;)

I was thinking about my life, the struggles and successes I've had, and why I am where I am. Suddenly I envisioned us all as jugglers. Yes, I know, weird, but think about it. We all start out at some point, probably just juggling one ball, getting the feel for it. Some people may get ahead of themselves, start out with 2 or 3 way before they are ready and end up failing miserably. As we grow, and gain skill, some of us choose to take it easy, keep juggling just one ball. Its not challenging, and there's minimal reward or satisfaction. You'll never draw a big audience; you'll never grow, but it is the easiest choice. Some jugglers push forward way to fast moving into knives and flaming things because they want a shortcut to the top, but their mistakes are either fatal or irreconcilable. Then there is everyone else, somewhere in between; pushing ourselves sometimes, hurting ourselves sometimes, but overall staying in the game. Some of us juggle to challenge ourselves and gain pride, other's to gain the attention and respect of others.

As for myself, I am a little more towards the reckless end, but not to0 reckless. I like to juggle the most dangerous number of items as I am capable. Although this has resulted in some severe injuries and some significant setbacks, overall my strategy has seemed to work. Over time I have developed strength and recover from injuries much more rapidly. I've learned from my mistakes, and I proceed with more caution after each failure. My only concern is; when am I going to drop the ball next?

Monday, November 1, 2010

Not so sober October

It's been a crazy month. I turned 21, went to bars, and went a little bit crazy. Let's be realistic though, "crazy" for me is not really anything by Pullman standards. It has been a rough time. Life was just so damn good for a while; it seems like that never lasts. It seems as if happiness has an ebb and flow.

I am really disappointed in myself for my actions over the last bit of time. I picked my own happiness over that of someone else I care about. I also feel like I crossed one of my own moral boundaries, and I'm afraid its going to come around and bite me in the butt.

While I'm venting and being emo, I'll continue along the same lines. My fear of ever finding someone I'm happy with long term continues to grow. I know I am young and I don't necessarily like the idea of being tied down for the rest of my life RIGHT now, at the same time I do want to find that person. I'm just afraid I'm one of those people who is too picky for too long and then ends up alone. I know I'm really independent, but I love having someone to take care of and who makes me feel special. (the other parts are equally as nice too ;) )

I hate being sad. I don't know how to deal with it. I don't really have anyone that I can confide my deepest darkest secrets to anymore. I think its better that way; its probably better for me to keep that stuff to myself. I guess I'll just continue to put on my happy face until I get out of this rut.

On a brighter side, I'm going to Liberty Mutual this week for an interview. Hotel Monaco, oh how I have missed you! :D