Friday, October 22, 2010

Pessimistic Romantic

I'm a pessimistic person when it comes to relationships. I got into the "serious relationship game" early, and had it blow up in my face. The worst of these experiences leaving me confused and having no faith in my judgment in people, men in particular.

Of course though, someone had to come along and prove me wrong, and be a perfectly lovely man. Unfortunately that didn't work for me either. I got restless and got the hell out of dodge. This may have been worse (not more painful), then the first because I lost faith in myself. Maybe I just am not good at this whole commitment thing. Maybe I just don't know what to do with stability in my life, and maybe I don't want it.

I love being free. Most of the time its a good thing, because not many girls out there like being single. I'm a romantic though, and I love being in relationships too, at least for a while. I'm just afraid of getting attached to people and afraid of people getting attached to me because it always ends up with both people sad and hurt. I am afraid that I'm no longer capable of loving someone the way I did when I was naive and a hopeless romantic.

I could go on and on. I have a lot on my mind and I'm in a rambly mood, but I'm going to restrain myself.

"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."

-good ol' Marilyn, she had some good things to say

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