I am an observer. I watch people, and I try to learn from them. For a while now, the idea of charisma has mystified me. What makes a person interesting to others. Why are we naturally drawn to certain people. What makes a person a "natural leader." I would think about the alpha girl in high school, and the leader of my group of friends. When they talked people would listen. WHY did they have this power, and how could I get it? I had an epiphany a while back. The one thing that seems to draw people in is confidence. I don't mean arrogance; its those who have landed in that small zone right in between arrogance and insecurity.
Confidence has always been an evasive thing for me. I was not born a confident person. In fact, I have faced some pretty severe body image issues before. Others used to determine my confidence, I needed their approval to feel okay about myself. I needed boys to be drooling all over me to feel attractive.
Somewhere along my journey I realized that I needed to take my fate into my own hands. To stop acting like a victim and own up to my mistakes. To stop depending on others approval. It has not been an easy process. It has taken a lot of determination to overcome my insecurities and bad habits. The one thing I have learned is that it doesn't matter who you are going to be. What matters is that YOU decide who you're going to be, and you freakin rock it. Start acting like a rock star and people will think you are one. And they'll want a piece of it. Start acting confident and people will think you are. Eventually, you'll be able to stop acting, because you will be a rock star; you will be that confident person that everyone looks up to.
Its amazing sit back and look at what my life has become. The opportunities I have been given are incredible. Its hard for me to believe that some of the things that have happened in the last year really did happen. At times I wanted to pinch myself to make sure I was awake and not dreaming. It all begin when I decided who Kara Rucker was, and that I was going to freaking ROCK at being Kara Rucker.