Living in Fast Forward

Hello everyone! I am back from China and back to normal blogging! The title of this blog was inspired by the Kenney Chesney song by the same name. This past year has been nuts. I seem to have slowly abandoned my strict rules for myself that kept me out of trouble but also kept me from having fun.

I think for the most part, it is okay. I feel like I still have the same morals and I follow them. However, some aspects of my life I have definitely let slide. One of these areas, for lack of a better word, is my "recovery" phase. I used to be very good about dealing with the hard times in my life "healthily," however, sometimes this meant a longer, more painful road to being happy again.

I have definitely slipped a little into my old high school ways of just finding ways to distract myself instead of actually dealing with whatever is going on. For the most part, its worked out fairly well, but I feel like things have been escalating, and if I don't starting making some changes in my life decisions, shit is going to hit the fan. Maybe it is already too late, I don't really know. I do know that I have surrounded myself by amazing people who are there for me when things don't go my way, even if they were the ones advising me not to make the choices in the first place.

I also know that some of the choices I've made and the things I've done are not things I approve of myself doing. I know that I need to live in a way that I am proud of the person I am and the choices I make. So, I am making a goal to myself to start being a little more future-oriented and care more about the long term effects of my actions, so we'll see how that goes!